I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
