They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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