is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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