I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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