my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
