She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I party with great urgency now.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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