i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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