I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
