so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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