oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
