i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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