What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
