You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Text me some of your sweat
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
