You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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