i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
