i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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