It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
