either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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