Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
