hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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