chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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