I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize