guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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