It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize