Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
