Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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