Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
