there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
