I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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