am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
