Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
