discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
