Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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