the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
