i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
