It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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