hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
