the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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