You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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