You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
