Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
