What did we do last night that was yellow?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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