I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i think my cat just said my name.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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