A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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