Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.