so explain again why im purple
no
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
