You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
