I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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