Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
