I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
