I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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