The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
