So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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