Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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