yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize