k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
