Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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