i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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