That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
