New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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