i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
