you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
