As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
