So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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