i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
