My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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